11.30.2006

carrie bradshaw i am not...

but i will be spending christmas in new york city and i can't wait!!!! skating at rockefeller center, the radio city music hall christmas spectacular, chinese food for christmas dinner - i doubt you can do any better.

does anyone have any good restaurant or shopping recommendations?

11.20.2006

From Sunday's Washington Post

SORRY, YOU'RE NOT ON THE LIST

One in an occasional series of parties you should have crashed.

Event: Capital Food Fight 2006, a battle-of-the-celebrity-chefs fundraiser for D.C. Central Kitchen, with "tastings" from more than 40 top local restaurants

Site: Ronald Reagan Building and International Trade Center

Big regret: Missed the cotton-candy foie gras.

Big revelation: Marvelous sushi . . . from Wegman's?

Big horror: Lobster popcorn. "Almost impossible to eat," murmured one guest.

Big surprise:$1 million gift from kitchen volunteers Bob and Nancy Torray (the event otherwise raised $285,000).

Main event: Galileo's Roberto Donna (teamed with Anthony Chittum of Notti Bianche) overcame his "Iron Chef" humiliations to trounce two-time Food Fight champ Ris Lacoste in the finals by pairing romanescu with escargot.

Post-game: Was it a fair fight? Hardly, said celeb judge Anthony Bourdain, the tough-guy food writer and chef, holding court over Negronis and cigarettes at the Les Halles after-party. "I have history with everyone. But the end, the best dish won. . . . Ris lost by a little too much curry. I'm not convinced she didn't take a dive. I'd like to see the betting spread on this one."

9.05.2006

i'm just a girl

...on a date. a fabulous date. a date i've been anticipating for months. and everything is going better than i could have dreamed, except...my dang cell phone keeps blowing up. it's in my bag, which is hanging on my chair, and everytime i get a message it sends little, tickling waves up into my back and i am completely distracted.

i received the following text messages while i was fighting a (winning) battle with some chopsticks:

[b:] did you give him a bj yet?

[b:] he's staring at your chest.

[b:] stop staring at his dick.

[b:] there's spinach in your teeth.

[b:] fyi our friend hercules is going to crash here tonight. also important to know: he's black & handsome.

[c freddie:] listen em, i'm in your corner and i know you are doing great. but you need to remember to take your panties with you in the morning.

gotta love 'em. but next time the phone's going on silent. smile.

8.11.2006

If you wanna ride in my mercedes boy -

so i have a house on the eastern shore for the weekend. totally empty, totally free and totally stocked with great wine. if you wanna come with, hit me up.

peace.

8.02.2006

WAITER, BRING ME ANOTHER MAI TAI!

i think i have to work that in.

i've spent the last coupla days prepping for my trip this weekend. basically, i've been sweating & drinking. dc has been hotter than it's ever been since i've lived here. and since texas is pretty darn hot in august, i'd say i'm ready.

who would get married in a thousand degree weather? oh who cares.

bring on the festivities!! and the mai tais? margaritas! two at a time.

i promise photos.

7.21.2006

Potpourri

hi.

so the other day i was walking back from...somewhere when i crossed against a light. and these cops stopped me. i thought i was about to be in trouble when one cop said the following, which is the subject of today's hilarity:

things said to me by the opposite sex in the past week


[cop:] did it hurt? when you hit the ground? cause you must have fallen from the sky - you're an angel!

[chicago dude:] you're the greatest! i can't believe it took me so long to talk to you!!

[man hanging out on the block:] you thick! hey thick! hey thick!

[man of color i had to ask what 'thick' meant:] he's talkin' about that phat (fat?) ass.

[man hanging out in the grocery store parking lot:] excuse me miss, you have nice symmetry.

[man hanging out in front of the 7-11 in a wheelchair:] oh man i gotta run home and get the handcuffs for you!!

it's no wonder i'm single.

for the past several weeks 1522 has been operating as a sort of boarding house, or perhaps i should say bed & breakfast, except instead of scones & homemade yogurt we offer a delightful assortment of condiments from foreign lands and a vodka tonic at a moment's notice.

j's brother a was living on the sofa, j was out of his place due to the flooding and k, having intended to only crash while she was looking for a sublet, is staying for the summer. it's been great fun having all this fresh meat around. but then a fell back into the clutches of, well, luv, and j is back in his place and is busy nesting, so it's a good thing we still have k. she makes coffee every morning. it's fab.

what all this has proven is that we do, in fact, have room for extra people in the house. and i think next we should really stop all this yacking and take action - we should get that house boy. preferably one who doesn't speak english.

THAT's the internet ad i'll place!!!

7.17.2006

Conversations with Los

[los:] you have an ad on the internet?
[j:] at least i have one on there! where's yours? i don't see yours!
[los:] but it's easy when you're gay. or jewish.
[j:] huh?
[los:] people are always hooking up on gay.com or jdate. it just works.
[j:] oh yeah. i'm on jdate.
[los:] you're on jdate? but you're not jewish...
[j:] oh come on, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR GOYS!!!
[los:] HA HA HA HA HA HA. this is so going on e2theLos.