5.26.2004

Confidential to all American Idol Viewers

i've kept my pretty little mouth shut this whole american idol season, what with jpl staying in for several more rounds than he should have as we kept spiraling through the inner rings of hell, jasmine and that fucking flower in her hair, and the most conclusive evidence that clear channel is ruining the aesthetic sensitivities of the american public - latoya's getting the boot. but i can stay silent no more.

IF CLOWNY DIANA DEGARMO WINS AMERICAN IDOL TONIGHT AND TALENTED, MARY J. BLIGE-ESQUE FANTASIA GETS SECOND PLACE...WELL, THEN, I DON'T EVEN WANT TO SAY. BUT YOU PEOPLE WILL DESERVE ALL THE HOOBASTANK, TRAIN, BRITNEY AND DONNA SUMMER COVERS THAT ARE COMING YOUR WAY.