I Confess

yesterday i was a soccer mom.

i spent the day running errands. i had planned to take the morning off to take leroy to the vet, get my car inspected, and run to the dmv to have it registered.


i dropped leroy off, and after causing a small scene with a boston terrier, i was off. i immediately got a diet coke at the 7-11, and ran to the inspection site (dc has ONE location). my car FAILED INSPECTION. apparently one of my cylinders was misfiring, so i failed the emissions portion of the test. a toothless man gave me a slip of paper with a mystery code and i was off to solve the problem.

this meant i had to go to MARYLAND to see a dealer, "cause this may or not be covered by yer warranty, ma'am. i'm just gonna have to look it oeuver." so, off to maryland to see walter i was.

walter was also missing some teeth & was covered in tattoos, so i felt i was in good mechanical hands. after doing the crossword, watching my soap opera, and falling asleep in the waiting room OHMIGOD, my car was ready, free of charge.

so, back to the inspection site, right? FOILED!

i jumped on the highway as a short cut, and ended up...back in maryland! but i finally made it back to the inspection site and passed this time, bitch.

then there was a little time to kill before i could get leroy, so there was nothing to do but kidnap bees from work & go get pedicures, of course.

got leroy, paid more than the price of my first car in PRELIMINARY work vet bills, and was done.

what's the point of this story, you ask? well, i couldn't think of anything else to write. that, and i learned that i would make a killer executive assistant. i will work for $75K, plus benefits. so, let me know if you're in the market for some hot help.