Call me Crazy, But...

so most of my mother's side of the family is coming up for the 4th of july. there will be 13 of us total, and we're missing quite a few people, for the record. dammit.

but anyway, they're all staying five days. which is totally cool. no one is staying with me, so it shouldn't be too bad. i have lots of friends who are angels and have offered to hang out with my family just for my emotional support. oh, and i'll have a flask under my skirt. it's nothing that a few pulls of bourbon won't numb.

but HERE'S what i don't understand. the big lady (oh, that's my mother) casually mentioned to me that she was staying an extra day. as if five won't be enough, she feels she needs to stay a sixth. when i mentioned this to one of the people who isn't coming, dammit, he said he knew. so apparently this was common knowledge to everyone but me. (i have to admit i find it kind of amusing that the big lady felt she shouldn't tell me. what does that tell YOU about the current mother-daughter vibe...?)

but anyway, you're probably wondering why she wants to stay an extra day, especially since she is already complaining about spending so much time with her mother, and the trip hasn't even started! well, that's what i wanted to know, too.

apparently, it's so that we can sew.

that's right, sew.

i. don't. sew.

and call me crazy, but i'm thinking that the sixth of six days of a family vacation may not be the best time for her to try to teach me...