6.16.2004

My Mission. From God.

i used to think my mission was fairly straight forward. and i used to think there was just one person who was God's instrument in this lesson.

i have come to learn, however, that His instruments are endless.

my grand total of friends, family or precious balls of white fluff who are clearly Tools of His Righteousness comes to 5, to date. but last night i realized that even complete strangers can show me the Light of the Father.

at second job last night, the biggest wanker south of the mason dixon line came into the store. again. he is an executive at american express. he wears expensive suits & talks on his cell phone constantly. he winks at me from across the store & tells me that although he's working with some "senior executives, they aren't moving fast enough" & he really "just needs to get this shit moving." he's all of 24. maybe.

everytime he comes in, he & his tosser buddies ask a ton of asinine questions with an arrogant attitude. "can you tell me about this wine?" "what's your best champagne?" "are there any good vineyards around here?" "no...i want something a little smoother....no...i want something a little fuller...no...i want something a little spicier....no.." i just want to hit you over the head with this bordeaux bottle!!

but instead i pour their second bottle of champagne because they sent the first one back. "corked." i shake his hand as he leaves and tell him we'd be delighted to host his event in the store. and rather than pulling out every single goddamn eyelash one by one, i give him a little smile everytime he winks, exercising Patience and Kindness as i know He would want me to.

barf.

so later i was in the grocery store around midnight. i had decided to run in on my way home for some lunch meat & some much-needed popsicles. i was in the store for half an hour, 25 minutes of which was spent in line. there was only one group of customers ahead of me, two 20-somethings and a little girl. they were only buying two things: candy bars. sounds simple, right?

wrong.

they wanted to pay for their $1.38 worth of candy with food stamps. FEDERAL FOOD STAMPS. now, by no means am i suggesting that i know how they should spend their money. and who would begrudge a 10-year-old a snickers? not me.

what did surprise me, however, was that the card kept getting declined and the girl kept trying to make it work. 11 times she tried, and 11 times it was declined. now, i don't know, but i'm thinkin' you just can't buy candy bars with food stamps.

people behind me starting yelling at them to hurry up. the cashier rolled his eyes every time she asked him to run the card again. her friend even sat down & started talking on her cell.

finally, she reached into her pocket, pulled out a wad of cash, and paid for the candy with a $20.

i just laughed at the little girl as she tore into her candy, my smile a Beacon of Holy Light.

so what's my mission? God is teaching me to give when i don't think i can give any more.