There's Good Touching & Bad Touching, Kids

friday evening i was rushing through the dupont circle metro stop. and so was everyone else. the place was packed - commuters, school groups, tons of WWII vets - and we were all cramming onto the escalators to get off the platform. as i'm standing there, packed in like a sardine, the man in front of me reaches back & starts playing with my fingers. not finding him particularly offensive, i am amused & decide to just let this play out.

he suddenly realizes i am not his beautiful wife and proceeds to have an aneurysm. "I'M SO SORRY! I'M SO SORRY! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY WIFE! I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY WIFE'S HAND! I'M SO SORRY!" he's causing a scene. his wife, who i somehow separated from him, is right behind me with the stroller, and she's panicking because she's not sure what he did, but can HEAR HIM SCREAMING how sorry he is. and all the other people around have turned to me to try to guage what the offense is.

and i just start laughing. i mean, dude, you touched my fingers for, like, 10 seconds. chill the fuck out.

and this brings me to my point: people don't touch enough.

have you ever sat down next to someone, even someone you know, and your elbows touch? one of you will automatically pull back.* what's the big deal? touching is good. you should try it.
*this rule is null & void if you are in some kind of sexual relationship with the other touching person.