9.02.2004

Really, I Want a Giant Fucking Ballgown

i am ranking right up there with svetlana horkina. marion jones. john mackovic. the 2004 men's olympic basketball team. i was the favored one. the one everyone thought it would happen to first. the one expected to "win."

and holy toledo am i happy to be in last place. very aware of it, but happy nonetheless.

so we all know that the first love is marrying the ho. well good riddance to them.

i am headed back to texas in october so that i can witness the third college roommate wed.

i just got an email from a very old and dear friend that she is pregnant.

i just spoke to my college boyfriend of 4 years for the first time in, well, about a year. man, can he hold a grudge. he was on his way to chicago for the wedding of another college friend. and the last time he & i were really together was at another wedding.

the last guy i dated is now engaged. and to the girl he dated immediately after me. apparently this was common knowledge and my friends were very reluctant to tell me - fearing that i would have some gigantic meltdown and start saving for a face lift. on the contrary! i dodged a bullet with that one, kids. i mean, he was obviously ready to get married - what if it had been me? a life of bathroom humor, yankee football and gel-y hair? nothankyouverymuch.

and now the lamb tells me that she is trying on wedding dresses tonight, and that really, she just wants a giant fucking ballgown.

so congrats to all my grown-up friends! i hope it's nice up there, with your dusted shelves, plush towels, bread makers and gardening supplies. just don't expect me to join you any time soon.