Things People Said to Me While Buying Wine for Tuesday Night's Debate

"i'm going to a friend's house & he can't cook. i mean he can't cook. i need a lot of wine."

"what goes well with popcorn?"

"i'm wildly partisan; my predictions don't matter."

"i think cheney is going to wipe the floor with that sleazebag."

"do you have any wines from wyoming?"

"this is really going to dull the pain."

"what can i do to convince you to vote for john kerry?"

"you mean they actually make you work tonight?!"

"i think this is the only one the republicans are going to win."

"i'm just going to get rip-roaring drunk."

and, my personal favorite: "if edwards doesn't beat that evil, geriatric twit i am going to slit my wrists."