$Two Dollar Poke$

it all started last winter when, on a particularly snowy day, i stayed home to watch the six-hour movie of lonesome dove - one of the best westerns of all time. if you don't fall madly in love with augustus mccrae and the landscapes and the way of life back then, well, check your pulse. but in the movie there's a whorehouse, upstairs from the saloon, of course, and the cowboys swing in for a shot of whiskey, a hand of cards, and a two dollar poke.

that's right, a two dollar poke.

now you just can't say the phrase two dollar poke around the people I live with, no sir. they will snatch it, grab onto it, and never let it go. suddenly everything was two dollar poke.

"hey, can you get me a drink?"
"only for a two dollar poke!"

"oh shit, i've only got three dollars."
"that'll get you a poke and a half!"

poke poke pokety poke.

it didn't take long for the two dollar poke jokes to dissolve into a myriad of hooker, ho, dirty slut, oh i know why your knees hurt jokes. i have had entire email conversations with genevieve that go something like: hooker. i know you are. nuh-uh, you are. oh yeah, well i saw you were on sale for $1.95, you slut bag.

and they just keep being funny. always.

so last night as bonnie was touting her multi-tasking abilities, i naturally responded with, "yeah, you can give a blow job AND make change for a twenty at the same time!"

the whore.