so the other day i was walking back from...somewhere when i crossed against a light. and these cops stopped me. i thought i was about to be in trouble when one cop said the following, which is the subject of today's hilarity:

things said to me by the opposite sex in the past week

[cop:] did it hurt? when you hit the ground? cause you must have fallen from the sky - you're an angel!

[chicago dude:] you're the greatest! i can't believe it took me so long to talk to you!!

[man hanging out on the block:] you thick! hey thick! hey thick!

[man of color i had to ask what 'thick' meant:] he's talkin' about that phat (fat?) ass.

[man hanging out in the grocery store parking lot:] excuse me miss, you have nice symmetry.

[man hanging out in front of the 7-11 in a wheelchair:] oh man i gotta run home and get the handcuffs for you!!

it's no wonder i'm single.

for the past several weeks 1522 has been operating as a sort of boarding house, or perhaps i should say bed & breakfast, except instead of scones & homemade yogurt we offer a delightful assortment of condiments from foreign lands and a vodka tonic at a moment's notice.

j's brother a was living on the sofa, j was out of his place due to the flooding and k, having intended to only crash while she was looking for a sublet, is staying for the summer. it's been great fun having all this fresh meat around. but then a fell back into the clutches of, well, luv, and j is back in his place and is busy nesting, so it's a good thing we still have k. she makes coffee every morning. it's fab.

what all this has proven is that we do, in fact, have room for extra people in the house. and i think next we should really stop all this yacking and take action - we should get that house boy. preferably one who doesn't speak english.

THAT's the internet ad i'll place!!!


Conversations with Los

[los:] you have an ad on the internet?
[j:] at least i have one on there! where's yours? i don't see yours!
[los:] but it's easy when you're gay. or jewish.
[j:] huh?
[los:] people are always hooking up on gay.com or jdate. it just works.
[j:] oh yeah. i'm on jdate.
[los:] you're on jdate? but you're not jewish...
[j:] oh come on, THEY'RE LOOKING FOR GOYS!!!
[los:] HA HA HA HA HA HA. this is so going on e2theLos.



what's so confusing, i asked?

in so many ways, it seems like no time at all has passed, like nothing's changed. but in some ways, it does. he said it so seriously.

i know. good lord, do i know.

in the first hug, he wrapped one arm completely around me & held me so tightly. the other? it stopped on my hip, ready to push me away at the first moment he felt unsure.

i pretended not to notice. keep going, keep going.

we had to push through all the catch up. how's work? how's your family? what have you been up to? oh you did? i heard that. how'd you know, dammit? ah, of course...

but once the work was done, we fell right back into our private comfort - puzzles and breezes and bourbon and swirls & dips and toasts to us. he picked me up and pulled me into his lap. he kissed my face over and over again.

i was happy. i felt like i was home again. this is wonderful. don't fight it.

so i didn't. i stayed there with him inside his apartment, in his music, in his t-shirt covered in his smell, in his arms all night long. it was like it always was. my heater made sure there wasn't one moment, all night long, when we weren't touching.

when we woke, it didn't stop. we spent the entire day there, just the two of us.

am i still asleep? am i dreaming? no. this is real. just enjoy.

and then, suddenly, i felt a shift. his boots were on. he wanted dinner, but something quick. he was really hungry. we had to hurry. but did i have my stuff? i better get it all.

what happened?

WHAM. i was right back there again, right back where i was on that last day we were together, standing on the side of the road holding his hand in both of mine. no, gripping his hand in both of mine because i was so scared to let go. i knew if i did, i'd lose him.

and i did. i lost him.

months later, over a dinner i couldn't eat, i was petrified all over again. i was so scared to let him go, because i knew if i did, i wouldn't see him again. of course, the same thing happened this time. the same thing, all over again.

i didn't learn the first time. but i'll be damned if i didn't the second.

i'm a fucking fool.